what the actual fuck i think this has been the perfect time to ever write something, especially as a teenager because damn i am not feeling myself these days and i am not liking the person to whom i am evolving too, too much excessive eating, too much time on social media oh and my new phone i think that my new is phone is the root of all my miseries. it is true. all of the essays i have written till date have been leading me up to this. yes. and to study ughhh i just cannot i do not know why. i have four days left and i will be back and writing about all of them but i hope i do not survive. i do not know what i am writing at this point, to probably cringe at this stuff later and puke but it is okay just remember the feeling of warmth and love in his arms:))
i think about dying too often. like if i were to end my life sure, there would be people who would care. but, would i care about them caring for me? no. and i am sure that i will never find that typa love and it is okay i am not destined for it. i am destined for people to walk all over me and me standing there with a beguiling smiling face. and i will never be satisfied with myself. and omg muskan you have to come over hating yourself. i think it is tied to my daddy issues and that one girl somehow but idk muskan they do not govern you. i have been hating myself so much these days. it is unhealthy. but im just a teen. and i do. i really do want to make the best of these few days i have. and i know i wont survive past twenty. and i hate it everyday here. the hope that the coming say will be even worse is accepted. you will never be the light muskan maybe the people pleaser one yeah never the badass and that's okay it is written in your you cant do anything but die as soon as possi...
Comments
Post a Comment