Feels right

Hi. It's 11:49 pm currently. There something weirdly satisfying about time when it's odd. Haha pun was so not intended. I just had this intense desire to write, write something on paper, but it was tarnished by my relinquishing overthinking and my anxiety. That would feel good though. Anyways this newfound desire to write feel so seclusive. But I know it's for the better. And I am glad you took this step. 

You're precocious babe. You are. You weren't always but circumstances made you. And I'll forever be grateful for them. 

You sister is a futile teenager. Don't let her words get to you, or for that matter, anyone's thoughts ( your own thoughts)about you get to you. You know what's the thought that had been hovering over this sixteen year old girl's mind—that she'll never be able to sustain success. If she continues her posture, her attitude, the people whom she surrounds herself with and especially if she doesn't learn to control her thoughts. I think I've kinda accepted my fate now. I am destined for it. I am not destined for all that, and even if I was or happened to, I don't think I'll be able to relinquish it. As much as I would like it, i cannot and I have accepted that. 

People are dumb but so are you babe. So never ever think that you're superior to somebody. Never. You'll meet good people but not the best. I don't know if you'll ever find your own company. Maybe I am not supposed at the stage I am in. The universe has something much much greater for me. They say it'll get better, but does it babe? Tell me does it. I don't know and neither do I think that I'm supposed to know it. 

Your mom and your dad are okay i guess. You're just a teenager so of course you won't like them and then regret and repent later when your thirty. I hope you still remember  the paper menagerie though. I hope whenever you are, you are content. I know you will be. There is no other choice. The universe always works in favour for you so why will it not this time. And yeah don't have kids babe. You know you'll make yourself and then miserable. 

Stop living in your head so much. There are wonders out there. There for you and you only baby girl. 

Also school is literally a soap bubble so please treat it like a soap opera. Wow. Haha. Don't worry, you'll get through it just fine. You will. You have to. You already did. And university and the universe is going to be yours to conquer. You already did it haha. You will have a great life muskan. A really great one. And you'll love it. Love. Yeah maybe you will love your life and at the end you'll realise that it has always been you babe. You. You my strong precious girl. Been through it all. And still standing strong. Always was and always will be. 

That's why I want to practice yoga and meditate. Because babe your hair, your body exist for such a short span of time. Your are the most breathtaking model this world will ever know. Because you already are. That's hair and that body babe mwah. So don't let anybody's ACTIONS or WORDS get to you because you know, deep down, who you are. The sweet, caring, adorable muskan. I love you and only you. Haha it's 12:12 now.