I am just a little girl with a big heart and the reason I don't have an Instagram account is because I am such an insecure bitch that I'll fucking compare myself to my picture perfect Instagram friends and become miserable. But today I did it. From my finsta (fake insta) I stalked people and ugh it hurts. I think it feeds my ego and makes me feel so less validated that I go to the extent of not eating and exercising again. It's unhealthy I know it. And I am not even able to write in proper English words. What the fuck. Those girls are posting so many pretty pictures of themselves and hear I am getting scolded by my father for putting the wrong number in the calculator. Ugh. I don't even go out of the house. And my ass is so small. And why can't I do anything. I am so frustrated and I need to sleep. How do they look so good without even a fucking pimple on their face and no dark circles. Saw such a good post today about mediocrity and it was so me. Like. I have to stop eating. This is so bad. I don't know what to do. I don't wanna be reliant on fucking chatgpt but what else ughh. Gawd I am stressing about my marks too like ughh she did suck a great job and kudos to her but idk. I think I should stop know. I have to stop going on insta too.
this lil place makes me feel so much! and i am so grateful for myself to have created this space for me. i am trying to be more present and write down my thoughts as they occur. in small sentences. but i opened my blog today because i am angry and disappointed in you muskan. you had two frickin' days to prepare for your eco exam but you did not. and you are cramming at 6:52 pm. i feel i am wasting my time writing this, but hey! you've already wasted so much. but no get back to studying because studying will get you places. people-pleasing will only deteriorate your health. i always get the best and the highest grades in each and every exam that i write. and so will i tomorrow. i already have the best and the highest grades in all the exams. i even got into iim bangalore ug data science course and am thriving over there. i love life.
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