i am very malleable person you see, i blend into things very easily almost omnipotently. i have been having a lot of un these days and my company ta school isn't the best. but what to do. i am not very good at hiding things too. i used to be but idk where that part of me went. i hate it at school but i keep reminding myself that I AM NOT A BAD PERSON JUST BECUASE I DO NOT TALK TO PEOPLE I DO NOT LIKE. and also stop living inside your head and thinking bad about others. because they're gonna grow anyways and you will be stuck in your miserable state. grow muskan. this is the time to grow and you know it. please do not regret this late. and i know that you will not because you already have achieved and it is already yours. the fame, the wealth, the money, the success, your dream life, modelling, everything, you already have it, you just have to sustain it.
i think about dying too often. like if i were to end my life sure, there would be people who would care. but, would i care about them caring for me? no. and i am sure that i will never find that typa love and it is okay i am not destined for it. i am destined for people to walk all over me and me standing there with a beguiling smiling face. and i will never be satisfied with myself. and omg muskan you have to come over hating yourself. i think it is tied to my daddy issues and that one girl somehow but idk muskan they do not govern you. i have been hating myself so much these days. it is unhealthy. but im just a teen. and i do. i really do want to make the best of these few days i have. and i know i wont survive past twenty. and i hate it everyday here. the hope that the coming say will be even worse is accepted. you will never be the light muskan maybe the people pleaser one yeah never the badass and that's okay it is written in your you cant do anything but die as soon as possi...
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