safe space

uhhhh why am i letting boys take over mee soo much?????????????????????????

 yall know what my fucking username over here is it is fucking academic validation. i feel so ashamed i overcomplicate things and then do nothing about them i have let myself down so much 

 guys i think i have become the victim again again i have let a boy take me hostage and i feel so ashamed of myself but now i know who to be  i will be so amazing and kind and beautiful and flawless that people will literally drop down to the fucking knees when they see me  god this is all so fake but i am gonna be so good  just have to wait

 guys i dont feel so good. i feel overwhelmed and lazy. like im not doing anything at all. help me. 

 hi blog tmrw is gonna be a very sad and bad day i think i should actually go to therapy but i am very young and my parents are like no. my mum shouts so much that my throbs with pain so much school is actually also not great. i am passing by but i wanna live and feel things. i feel so fake and bad all the time. my brain just feel so blank and empty. like today in english i could not think of anything. i felt so freakin numb. it was not a good feeling. and it's the same. i go and read other people posts and they all write the same things as mine.  are we all in this suffering?  well if this is what living feels like then it's better not to. that's why i wait so eagerly for death i suppose. 

 hi blog, do people even give a damn about what i write or post here becuase i just feel that i am not achieving anything. i just wanna feel validated. idk what to do. 

 omg i am so needy for a irl human interaction loll guyss pls talk some sense into my head