i think about dying too often. like if i were to end my life sure, there would be people who would care. but, would i care about them caring for me? no. and i am sure that i will never find that typa love and it is okay i am not destined for it. i am destined for people to walk all over me and me standing there with a beguiling smiling face. and i will never be satisfied with myself. and omg muskan you have to come over hating yourself. i think it is tied to my daddy issues and that one girl somehow but idk muskan they do not govern you. i have been hating myself so much these days. it is unhealthy. but im just a teen. and i do. i really do want to make the best of these few days i have. and i know i wont survive past twenty. and i hate it everyday here. the hope that the coming say will be even worse is accepted. you will never be the light muskan maybe the people pleaser one yeah never the badass and that's okay it is written in your you cant do anything but die as soon as possi...
why cant we women just like live without boys. why do we have to spend late nights obsessively talking about them while they probably don't even give a damn about you and are probably talking to an another girl. it's always us who are the victims right? and it is so so sad. can't we just talk about ourselves and how amazing we are. i don't think we need boys to live, we can be happy and contended within ourselves to right? we have beautiful minds but all we want to do is open instagram and obsess over that silly lil boy, who's probably calling you a whore. but you dont give a damn right all you care about is how good he looks. utter bullshit. that's why i think i relate to jo march so much. and right now i am crying for that reason and for the first time i compulsively with my whole heart hate hate hate men. don't get me wrong over here i am not hating over men here, well i am but more that that i am more angry at ourselves, us pretty girls who have let thes...
I love that I am just a girl in a big world who has dreams and aspirations and who studies hard and minds her own business and is always striving to self-improve but also knows when to relax and have fun. Like I love that about myself actually. I want to always be like this. I study a ton & ravenously consume knowledge & work out & try to eat healthy & try to have good character & try to always be kind & try to balance my phone time & have fun on my silly little blog while also recognizing none of this actually has a bearing on my wonderful little life with its flaring sunsets & crisp breezes & all the hobbies I could take on & all the spontaneous friendships I could make in the blink of an eye & beautiful books waiting for me to fall in love w them & goals that are waiting to be accomplished & love that’s hiding in corners just waiting for me to discover it & the love I already have and which has never failed to ensconce me....
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