hi so muskan tomorrow is officially twelfth grade after summer. it will be your last first day after summer break! so relish it. every moment of it. every interaction. be you. do not care about others(the teachers maybe) but you are THE SCHOOL CAPTAIN SO ACT LIKE ONE WALK LIEK ONE AND TALK LIKE ONE. behave as the girl you visualise harmonise and look up to. and please please be kind to everyone especially yourself. and about the best and the highest grades? you already have them. you always get the best and the highest grades so easily. and it is the last year of school so please study well you will never get these marks again so i know youw ill study because you have already topped with 98% in isc boards and secured a well-deserved seat at nlsiu bangalore. and yeah you took your first mock yesterday(you scored 40/120, but hey you had no prior practice, so well done) and yeah just study, work hard each and every day study accounts every day. be consistent. love you so much.
i think about dying too often. like if i were to end my life sure, there would be people who would care. but, would i care about them caring for me? no. and i am sure that i will never find that typa love and it is okay i am not destined for it. i am destined for people to walk all over me and me standing there with a beguiling smiling face. and i will never be satisfied with myself. and omg muskan you have to come over hating yourself. i think it is tied to my daddy issues and that one girl somehow but idk muskan they do not govern you. i have been hating myself so much these days. it is unhealthy. but im just a teen. and i do. i really do want to make the best of these few days i have. and i know i wont survive past twenty. and i hate it everyday here. the hope that the coming say will be even worse is accepted. you will never be the light muskan maybe the people pleaser one yeah never the badass and that's okay it is written in your you cant do anything but die as soon as possi...
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