i refuse to be a person who wishes so badly for change and then lacks the actions to prove that desire. even though i'm feeling so overwhelmed with the amount of changes occurring and the amount of things i have to do in such a short span of time i will not sacrifice anything i consider a priority. i will adapt to the situations and give my 100% to each and every challenge because back is where the opportunity for growth lies, and as my bestie charles darwin once said "it is not the strongest of the species that survives nor the most intelligent it is the one that is most adaptable to change."
i think about dying too often. like if i were to end my life sure, there would be people who would care. but, would i care about them caring for me? no. and i am sure that i will never find that typa love and it is okay i am not destined for it. i am destined for people to walk all over me and me standing there with a beguiling smiling face. and i will never be satisfied with myself. and omg muskan you have to come over hating yourself. i think it is tied to my daddy issues and that one girl somehow but idk muskan they do not govern you. i have been hating myself so much these days. it is unhealthy. but im just a teen. and i do. i really do want to make the best of these few days i have. and i know i wont survive past twenty. and i hate it everyday here. the hope that the coming say will be even worse is accepted. you will never be the light muskan maybe the people pleaser one yeah never the badass and that's okay it is written in your you cant do anything but die as soon as possi...
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