safe space

i am in love.  i told him about my daddy issues, well not all but parts of it. kinda sucks that i do not have male friends here. i just do not feel like myself lately. but this has been me since the past four years. does it really get so bad. people have told me about it and rightly so. he cries for me in agood way mostly ig, emailed his prof that he has to go see his gf, got cute stuff for me, says he loves me the most. but idk what to do/say. i have just been so blurred mind. ashoka is making me feel so incompetent. menon was right in class - be careful what you wish for. did i not wish/ worked my ass off to be here? just to feel like shit at the end of every day? i think my seasonal depression is back. i wanna be like these cool girls. tall and skinny and pretty. i need to eat healthy. ugh think about the long term effects muskan.  i just love ani so much. i feel so safe with him. and loved. i love my family do not get me wrong. but i do not wanna be dumb. i used to think o...