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why do boys exist i hate them sm 

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I think Jo never loved Laurie. They were friends, he loved her, she didn't. Jo always said she didn't want to be a wife but I think it's because she was scared and insecure about it. As she grows she starts to think no one will ever love her and she truly will never be a wife and then decides to write the letter to Laurie, cuz at least he loves her right? But she doesn't love him, not that way. She was just scared of being alone forever. Amy and Laurie are a lovely couple. I truly believe Laurie and Jo were platonic soulmates whereas Amy and Laurie are romantic soulmates When Jo writes her love letter to Laurie she says “My dear Teddy, I miss you more than I can express. I used to think that the worst fate was to be a wife, I was young and stupid. But now I have changed. The worst fate is to live my life without you in it.” I think Jo finds it hard to express her feelings without going against her beliefs/ideas about what women should and shouldn’t be in the world. Like...
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i think about dying too often. like if i were to end my life sure, there would be people who would care. but, would i care about them caring for me? no. and i am sure that i will never find that typa love and it is okay i am not destined for it. i am destined for people to walk all over me and me standing there with a beguiling smiling face. and i will never be satisfied with myself. and omg muskan you have to come over hating yourself. i think it is tied to my daddy issues and that one girl somehow but idk muskan they do not govern you. i have been hating myself so much these days. it is unhealthy. but im just a teen. and i do. i really do want to make the best of these few days i  have. and i know i wont survive past twenty. and i hate it everyday here. the hope that the coming say will be even worse is accepted. you will never be the light muskan maybe the people pleaser one yeah never the badass and that's okay it is written in your you cant do anything but die as soon as possi...
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Feels right

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Hi. It's 11:49 pm currently. There something weirdly satisfying about time when it's odd. Haha pun was so not intended. I just had this intense desire to write, write something on paper, but it was tarnished by my relinquishing overthinking and my anxiety. That would feel good though. Anyways this newfound desire to write feel so seclusive. But I know it's for the better. And I am glad you took this step.  You're precocious babe. You are. You weren't always but circumstances made you. And I'll forever be grateful for them.  You sister is a futile teenager. Don't let her words get to you, or for that matter, anyone's thoughts ( your own thoughts)about you get to you. You know what's the thought that had been hovering over this sixteen year old girl's mind—that she'll never be able to sustain success. If she continues her posture, her attitude, the people whom she surrounds herself with and especially if she doesn't learn to control her tho...
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